Ashes and skeletons

For the past few weeks, there’s been a theme of death in my life, although not in a particularly bad way. It’s more like a reminder that death is always with us and is part of the circle of life. Not that I needed reminding, really, but Spring is around the corner and death is irretrievably connected with renewal.

Last Tuesday I went downtown to meet a friend and had time to kill, so I went to pick up Snowman’s ashes at the vet. I don’t get downtown very often. I ride the bus, which is time-consuming, so the ashes have been there for over a month while I waited to combine a trip to the vet’s office with other errands.

It’s nice to finally have his remains. Snowman’s urn is quite a bit smaller than Puck’s, but came with a plaster ornament imprinted with his actual paw print. Both now sit inside his food dish next to Puck’s items on the ancestor altar. I have a small ceramic figurine of a Siamese cat that Anne gave me a while back. Once I touch up some of the paint, I will place it next to his other items.

I’ve been mourning Puck pretty intensely for 5 years. What’s strange to me is that, once Snowman crossed over, the pain of losing Puck lightened considerably. Perhaps it’s because the two of them are together and, in some way that I don’t understand, Snowman created some type of bridge between Puck and me when he crossed over, and now we are more connected. That’s the only way I can explain the feeling, really.

Beginning in mid-February, I kept running across dead animals. The first was a dead squirrel near an intersection close to work. The next was a crow, also near work, that must have just expired. It was still so beautiful that, if it weren’t for a few light spider webs on its feathers, I would have assumed it was still alive. It was resting on the sidewalk, in the position that it might have sat on a nest of eggs. I had to gently nudge it with my foot before I was sure it was dead.

Then several days after finding the crow, I found a small skull with the lower jaw missing. I was getting off the bus near my home and there it was, just sitting on the edge of the sidewalk. Someone, a kid probably, had poked a stick through the empty eye socket. It’s cat-sized, but the eye sockets do not look like those of a cat.

So three dead animals, I should be through. Yes, I kind of believe in the ‘things happen in threes’ rule. But I am a Legba kid.

I feel a pull from the Ghede and also the animal world. It’s just a matter of pinpointing what work I am supposed to do, so that I can do it and then go home to be with Puck and Snowman, under the water.

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2 Responses to “Ashes and skeletons”

  1. I lost one of my furry family members this past month. And I’ve found the pain of that loss to have been more intense than I expected it to be. I wonder if the reason is just because I still have her sister around still, akin to how you found your mourning for Snowman and Puck intwined, or if it’s just still a very new and painful loss.

    • cheshirecatman Says:

      I’m sorry to hear that. Your loss is very recent so it’s hard to say. Maybe both are true.

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