On the brink

I see myself perched on the edge of a cliff, enjoying the calm coolness of the ocean air before plunging headlong into the waters below. My relatively solitary life is beginning to change.

If you’ve been following this blog, then you know that I have been waiting to hear back from Mambo C, who lives in Seattle. Well, I heard back from her this week. We don’t yet have a date pinned down to get together, but it is going to happen soon. She told me that she will be holding a Fet Gede, the Festival of the Ancestors (or the Sacred Dead), in November. I am excited, happy and nervous about going. I suffer from minor social anxiety but, in this case, my excitement is overpowering the anxiety.

Also in November there is a workshop scheduled in Seattle with Mambo Racine Sans Bout, who is well known in U.S. Vodou circles. I would love to attend the workshop, but haven’t decided yet if I will. It’s $750, which isn’t bad for a 3-day intensive, but I am also considering taking a 2-week online art workshop that costs around $300. The art workshop is taught by a Hollywood visual effects studio, and they have one class focusing on sculpting comic book maquettes and statues, which would be my dream job. Ah, choices. You see my dilemma. If I try to do both, I will not only be exhausted but also spending over $1000. And I am hardly rich.

Update: I still have not figured out the identity of the old woman spirit seen by my friend Angel. When I try too hard to force an answer to a question, I worry that my own hopes or expectations will bias any answer I might receive. And then I start second-guessing myself again. So for now, I’ve stopped trying to figure it out and hope the answer will reveal itself at some point.


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