Assembling the pieces: The falling mirror, the tarot and the lwa

Mirror

Last month I mentioned that I came home from work to find La Sirene’s mirror had fallen onto the cats’ water dish, leaving the dish shattered but the mirror unscratched. Over the last few days, I’ve been wondering if I’ve been trying too hard to find meaning in that incident. Initially, I’d thought that either La Sirene or one of the other lwa whose shrine shares that shelf was displeased with me. Now I’m thinking that maybe I should look at things with a more literal eye.

The mirror, which has a mermaid relief molded into it (her tail forms the handle), tumbled off the shelf into the cats’ water dish. Is it possible that  she was simply trying to request I place some water in her shrine?

A rather simplistic interpretation, but possibly the right one. I am notorious for trying to read too much into things. My friend Angel had suggested I place ocean imagery on the mirror, which is another idea. Or possibly this idea is a variation on the same theme. On that note…*gets up to fill a small glass with salt water for the shrine*

Lwa

I’ve  been thinking about Agwe a lot lately, and wondering if he is the one who appeared in my canyon dream and beach vision. I’d initially assumed it was Legba because of the dogs that accompanied him, but the dream figure did not resemble Legba at all physically (Legba is an old man, this man was a youngish man, physically fit, with brown skin and short black hair).

A description of Agwe from the Gade Nou Leve Society page:

Agwe is visualized as a very attractive light-skinned mulatto man with green eyes. His wives include the mermaid LaSirene and the coquettish Ezili Freda

Both the dream and the vision involved water. I think I may try Houngan D’s advice soon, and meditate on Agwe’s shrine before going to sleep, and then record my dreams.

Tarot

I did a Celtic cross tarot reading for myself last Friday to see if I could identify my own met tet. I don’t think I was successful, but still had an interesting reading with the Buckland deck. Cards and my interpretations are listed according to their position in the spread:

• Significator: 6 of Chivs (knives or swords). I am at a stalemate. I want to move ahead, but past problems need to be dealt with.

1. Forces around me: #2, the High Priestess. It’s the old woman with the pipe again, who seems to correspond with a spirit that Angel saw near me. I am not sure if she is Brigitte or Erzulie in this particular reading, but her presence indicates that there is guidance at hand. I must be open and patient.
2. Obstacles: #19, the Sun. This is a positive card, but because of its position in the spread, I think it indicates caution. Perhaps a reminder that spiritual release is at hand, but to proceed carefully since I am dealing with forces that I do not fully understand.
3. Ideals/goals: 7 of Chivs. To be confident in myself, I must be willing to take risks. The rewards are great, but some loss may occur.
4. The basic self, deep thought/feelings: #18, the Moon. I have some psychic potential, but struggle with barriers.
5. The past: #8, Strength. This card was reversed, and while I don’t always think reversal is important, in this case I found that the reversed characteristics of the card accurately described my mistakes of the past: weakness, lack of faith, tyranny, domination of the material, failure.
6. Immediate future: 3 of Koshes (wands). My goals are in sight but not yet attainable. But the tools I need are at hand.
7. The querent’s self: #17, the Star. A desire for introspection and self-analysis. Work to overcome spiritual barriers–help from the spirits is at hand.
8. Close friends/family: 8 of Bolers (coins). Possibly indicates the presence of skilled but busy teachers or mentors. Pursue them as needed.
9. Hopes and fears. #12, the Hanged Man. I am afraid of being “tied up” by the past or by limitations beyond my control. Possibly indicates frustration at my living situation (I live in a very tiny apt.).
10. Final outcome: 10 of Chivs. The imagery of this card can be alarming at first because of the knives and the blood:

The death is not literal, however. For me, I think it indicates the death of one way of thinking or one self-image–a death that will enable me to move on. Also perhaps letting go of faces and events of the past. Or the balancing of energies through the pain of letting go and patience. The watchfulness of the bobby (or police constable) indicates that it is all right to remember the past, but in a more detached way. This will likely be difficult for me, as I tend to obsess over past mistakes.

My friend Angel had suggested I place ocean imagery on the mirror, which is another idea. Or possibly this idea is a variation on the same theme.

“The Fourth Kind” and thoughts on abductions and possessions

(Note: This post includes some spoilers about the film. If you are planning to see it, you might want to read this post later.)

Last Wednesday I saw “The Fourth Kind.” The film had not received favorable reviews locally, so I went with low expectations, thinking it would be your standard abduction flick. I was pleasantly surprised to find myself deeply engrossed in the movie.

I had not realized that the movie included actual footage of abductees’ hypnotic regression sessions and police footage. This added intensity to the film; an actor’s screams can rarely match a true, gutteral cry of terror. What I found interesting, though, was that parts of the regression sessions were more like possession rather than abduction regression. People’s bodies contorted and at least two of them were shouting in ancient Sumerian. Plus the video would become snowy during parts of the session, almost as though the abductees were generating a large amount of electromagnetic energy. This reminded me of parts of Reginald Crosley’s book, “The Vodou Quantum Leap,” where he discusses how, by generating huge amounts of electromagnetic energy (either though science via the Philadelphia Experiment or through ritual) the limitations of what we accept as common reality can be temporarily surpassed. Thus, entities from the spirit world can temporarily reside in a human body.

In two of the cases shown in the movie, the abductees were left with permanent disabling injuries. I thought about possessions in Vodou, and how the lwa are always careful to avoid injuring their horses (the possessed people). These entities that are assumed to be aliens–what are they, really? Are they the grey Roswell-type aliens, or a related species? Or are they something entirely different? And why do we assume them to be related? The regression footage reminded me more of demonic possession than alien abduction regression.

I think people are driven to quickly label things they don’t understand in order to have some type of answer, even if it is the wrong one. It’s also hard to be objective under duress.

Dreams, shrines and conflicting energies

Last night I dreamt that the British actress Lesley-Anne Down had just arrived in the U.S. as a penniless immigrant. (In the dream, she was not a famous actress.) I was in the lobby of a homeless shelter for men, located in the Georgetown area of Seattle. I was trying to get the employees there to help me locate a women’s shelter. They handed me a phone book, but the listings were in some sort of crazy semi-alphabetical order that I could not make any sense of. Finally, one of the employees told me there was a women’s shelter in Greenwood. In the dream, I thought I knew where it was, even though I know of no such shelter in real life.

I left the men’s shelter and went out to the white car, where my friend Steve and Lesley-Anne were waiting. Steve is single, so I was hoping that he and Lesley would hit it off. However, when I got into the car, Steve was visibly upset and I found out that Lesley talked him into turning himself into the police for some minor offense. (I can’t remember what it was, but possibly a hit-and-run with minor injuries. Note that this type of irresponsible behavior is extremely uncharacteristic of the real-life Steve.) In the dream, the offense happened some time ago and was over and done with, and I told him that I thought it extremely foolish to turn himself in. But he seemed to feel that he needed to do it for his conscience.

When trying to make sense of this dream, I thought back to Mambo C’s tarot reading, and the conflicting male/female energies in my life. The dream may be expressing my own conflicts between objective efficiency (potentially ruthless) and subjective morality (which has the potential to make me indecisive, vulnerable and obsessive over the past). It’s tricky sometimes to find the middle road.

I’m still making adjustments to my shelf that holds the shrines for La Sirene, Agwe, Erzulie and Ogoun. At the back of Agwe’s shrine, I placed an image of a whaling boat (although I do not think of it as such) with a crew full of either dogs or wolves that was part of an Inuit art calendar.  The artist is Pudlo Pudlat [Canadian Inuit, 1916-1992]; the title of the piece is “Animal Whalers II.” I like this image a lot, and once I added the word “IMMAMOU” in white paint, it fit in perfectly. I am not really satisfied with the sea turtle as a representation of Agwe, although I do like the turtle and it will remain in the shrine. I spent the week searching online for an affordable Neptune or Poseidon statue that would fit on my shelf, all to no avail. There was one interesting ceramic statue of “Prince Neptune” on Etsy that I liked a lot. It was affordable, but turned out to be a bit too large for the available space. In the end, I found a nice Neptune bust on eBay that is meant to be placed in an aquarium. It even has a gold crown and some blue/green jewels on it. I don’t know why I didn’t think of aquarium figures before. They are both the right size and affordable.

I want to get something larger for Erzulie, but I am not sure what yet, either a figure or a larger image. I saw a couple of things online that I liked, but have not yet made a decision.

I came home from work one day last week to find La Sirene’s expensive mermaid mirror had tumbled off the shelf onto the cats’ ceramic water dish below, breaking the dish in two. I am a bit puzzled as to how the mirror fell down. I had it balanced upright (handle down) so that La Sirene could see her own reflection, but it had been leaning towards the back of the shelf and should not have fallen forward.

My first thought was that Luna, my younger cat who likes to mess with everything, had gotten up on the shelf and knocked the mirror down. However, on close examination, I could not find anything else that appeared to be disturbed. What’s also interesting is that the mirror itself did not sustain any damage whatsoever: no chips or scratches, much to my relief.

I am not sure what this means, if anything. I do not want to be one of those people who reads metaphysical meaning into every single event. So my list of possible theories are:

• The mirror managed to fall somehow in a way that I did not anticipate. Mundane and entirely possible.
• La Sirene is irritated at me about something, perhaps because she is sharing her shelf with 3 other lwa. One of them is her husband, but perhaps she isn’t pleased about sharing with Erzulie or Ogoun. I hope this isn’t the case, as I really have limited space, although it might explain why the mirror didn’t sustain any damage.
• La Sirene is irritated at Luna for attempting to disturb the shelf and the mirror fell to scare the cat away.
• Erzulie is unhappy that La Sirene’s shrine has nicer things in it (including offerings and a better avatar) and threw the mirror.  I am working on improving Erzulie’s area, but it’s not going to be immediate.

I am not sure which of these is true, so have resigned myself to once again wait and see what happens next.  In the meantime, my studies continue. I also want to set up a shrine area for the Ghede. I’m waiting for a skeletal bride/groom figure to arrive that I ordered from Gargoyles. I also put a partial payment on an original painting that I fell in love with at  Gargoyles last week. The painting is a portrait of a skeleton guy wearing a suit and tie. A crown floats above his head and between his grinning teeth he holds a lit cigarette. I laughed and thought of the Baron when I saw it. It should make a nice counterpiece to the steampunk Brigitte print I recently ordered from Etsy. I can’t wait for it to arrive.

http://www.gargoylestatuary.com/

Unraveling the mysteries of personal lwa and the blue dress

Last Sunday I went to Mambo C’s house for a met tet reading. For those of you new to Vodou, a person’s met tet is the “master of their head,” a sort of Vodou guardian spirit. At any given time, a number of lwas may be with a person, but the met tet is the one you are born with.

Prior to my reading, the mambo had to finish up an interview with a student from out of town. The student had arrived 90 minutes late, so the interview ran late as well. As it turned out, we had only a very brief time to do my reading. The tarot cards had been laid out and Mambo C had barely begun reading them when Houngan D arrived. She had not gotten a clear impression of who my met tet was, although she had identified three lwa who were around me.

We discussed the reading a little with Houngan D, and he suggested I try working with Azaka, the lwa of agriculture. Houngan D asked me if my family had been farmers. I had to reply that they were not, as far as I knew. However, I never knew my father’s family (the Chinese side), so it’s possible some of them might have been farmers. I thought about Azaka, and did not have strong feelings one way or the other. Mambo C and I  never did get back to the cards that day, but she left them laid out on her dining room table and told me to give her a call later.

By the time we resumed the reading on Monday via telephone, Mambo C had carefully gone over the cards. While she was still not sure about my met tet, she did provide me with some interesting information.

La Sirene was very prominent in the reading, although the mambo did not think she was my met tet. However, this made me very happy, as it meant that La Sirene acknowledged my service to her. Erzulie was also present, although a little less prominently.  Also very prominent in the reading was Ogoun, the warrior lwa. The reading indicated some conflict between masculine and feminine energies, possibly related to the relationship with and between my parents. I found it interesting that the mambo saw this in the cards, as I grew up raised by a strong single mother with few positive male role models around, and certainly none who were around for any significant amount of time. She thought that the Ogoun energy manifested in the skill involved in sculpting, and the Erzulie/La Sirene energies manifested in my artistic abilities. She also thought that Agwe might be indicated, as he is married to both Erzulie and La Sirene. Both Ogoun and Agwe are associated with thunder and lightning, which reminded me of my close encounter with lightning back in December. On one website, Ogoun was associated with solitary predators, including panthers. Erzulie in her darker aspect (Erzulie Red Eyes) was also associated with big cats, which appeals to the therian in me.

She advised me to set up additional shrines for Erzulie, Ogoun and Agwe, so during the week I bought more candles and tried to find items to represent the new lwa in their shrines.

Mambo C mentioned that the Queen of Cups in the Rider Waite tarot deck represents Erzulie well. She is also commonly associated with Mater Dolorosa, a lovely white Mary wearing pearls and gold with a sword thrust into her heart. While killing time before meeting a friend on Wednesday, I stopped by Edge of the Circle Books and found a prayer card of Santa Barbara that I thought would work quite well. Saint Barbara is holding a cup and has a sword, although it isn’t piercing her heart. Her gown is white and her cloak is pinkish red (Erzulie’s color are white and pink).

While the guy was ringing up my card and candles, I looked down through the glass of the counter and my eyes fell on a cool metal pendant of Ogoun. The pendant was made of pewter and is basically a full body relief depicting the lwa as a modern soldier. It appealed to me both for its interpretation of Ogoun and for the artistic quality of the piece. Also, it seemed appropriate that his avatar be made of metal, as he is the lwa of iron. Of course I had to buy it.

That left me with the task of finding a representation for Agwe. Usually he is depicted by images of boats, but sea creatures can be used, as well as Saint Ulrich. I was having trouble finding an image or item that resonated for me. One sculpture that I saw in Pike Place Market of an Inuit man with a walrus face would have worked very well, but at $245 was out of the question. Finally, on Thursday, my girlfriend and I were at a gift shop in Belltown that sold a variety of well-sculpted plastic sea creatures. After pondering various dolphins, sharks, whales and a walrus, I settled on a small but highly detailed sea turtle with an appropriately intense expression and eyes that were nearly solid white, which gave him a mysterious otherworldly appeal. I will place some boat images behind him in his shrine.

So my plan is to set up these additional shrines today, serve these lwa, and hopefully at some point my met tet will identify itself.

Mambo C’s reading also indicated that my path into Vodou would not be a simple one, but instead full of twists and turns. And my thoughts to that were, “Ah. Just like the rest of my life.” Oh well. Sometimes when things come too easily, we appreciate them less.

Lastly, I’ve recently had some insights and ideas about the visitor in the blue dress that appeared to me twice, once on a bus ride and another time during meditation. On the bus ride, my impression of her was of an adult Native American, Latina or mulatto woman with long dark hair. In the meditation vision she appeared as a very dark skinned young African girl. I suspect this was La Sirene because of the similarity of the dress (both times it was blue with a repeated white pattern–blue and white, La Sirene’s colors). On one website I saw artwork of her with dual aspects, represented as two mermaids, one light skinned, one dark. This contrasts her benevolent and more dangerous aspects. The adult woman I saw had some maternal airs about her and may have been La Sirene’s protective, gentler aspect. I think the child represents La Sirene in her darker aspect, but “darker” in this sense would refer to the subconscious desires and instincts of the soul, or the part of the soul that is more spontaneous, unrestrained and childlike.

So with that, I take my leave to continue down my twisty turny path.

Fet Gede followup

I mentioned in my last post that I’d experienced pain during the Fet Gede. After dancing for about 40-60 minutes, both of my arms (from the elbows to the wrists) began to ache. I found this odd, as I thought it would be my legs that would be tired. During a short break, I had some water and went outside to cool off. The aching subsided, and I went back to dancing.

During the final hour of the celebration, my arms began aching again, much more severely than before. I kept dancing anyway, and still had some residual pain the following Monday, along with a disjointed feeling that reminded me of the time that I received a weird massage where the guy kept poking me with his elbow. Other than that, I felt fine until just after dinner on Monday, when I experienced an intense stomach ache followed by a nasty bout of vomiting. Afterward, I recovered quickly and felt almost normal.

My first thought was that I picked up either the flu or food poisoning at the Fet Gede.  However, the achiness was limited to my arms, I had no other flu symptoms other than the vomiting, and I consumed nothing at the Fet Gede except for some bottled water. These facts cast some doubt on those theories. I also thought it possible that the symptoms were related to the amount of energy raised at the Fet. I do not usually consider myself as highly energy sensitive, but I have been working to develop more sensitivity and, during the nearly two years since Puck crossed over, have received both Zimbate and Reiki attunements.

I asked some of my energy worker friends for their opinions. My friend Angel was kind enough to scan me and found a tear in my aura in the solar plexus area, which would be near the stomach. (Last time I spoke with my animal communicator friend Mary, she also commented that I’d had an opening of some sort.) Angel said that the tear could be caused by an attempted link on the part of an astral entity or a psychic attack. The more likely explanation, she added, was that I built up a bunch of energy at the Fet and did not release it, either due to blockage or lack of experience in energy work. And so the forced release caused the tear. When I asked Angel if the build up of energy could make someone physically sick, she said that indeed it could, as it can bring on detoxing, open up the chakras and create an imbalance.

The following Sunday I visited Mambo C’s home and had a chance to talk with her and the houngan who was at the Fet (whom I’ll refer to as Houngan D). The mambo said it was possible that I am energy sensitive (which I don’t consider myself to be, although I have experienced physical discomfort near high volumes of electricity, but I have no idea if that’s normal for most people or not). Houngan D said that having a physical reaction could actually be a good thing, as sometimes it indicates that the lwa are nearby. The mambo, who also practices ceremonial magick, told me that she became violently ill the first time she worked with one particular goddess. She experienced illness two more times while working with that goddess, but by the third time, the symptoms were very mild and then later disappeared completely.

Although I did not enjoy being sick, the experience leaves me little doubt about the presence of unseen energies. In closing, I want to say that I hope this does not discourage anyone from exploring Vodou or energy work. Vodou is not in itself harmful, any more than electricity is intentionally harmful. But if you handle live wires without proper knowledge and protection, you could get a nasty shock.

Pain at the Fed Gede

Fet Gede: Fun and surprises on All Saint’s Day

Much like Day of the Dead, the Haitian Vodou holiday Fet Gede is celebrated every year on All Soul’s Day. It’s a day to honor the Ancestors and the group of spirits known as the Gede.

At the head of the Gede family is The Baron in his many aspects (Baron La Croix, Baron Samedi, Baron Cimitiere, and Baron Kriminel to name a few) and Maman Brigitte, the mother of the Gede. Together they reclaim the souls of the dead and transform some into Gede lwa, thus the Gede are innumerable. Papa Gede Nibo is the oldest and foremost Gede – said to be the oldest ancestor of the human race.

The Gede are much loved and they are the life of the party when they appear. They’re known for their bawdy and irreverent sense of humor, for dancing the banda – a dance which parodies intercourse, but also they are known for their great ability to heal the sick, give advice and prophesy the future. They have a special fondness for and are protective of children. In all, they embody the mysteries of death, fertility and birth. (source: www.dadamancer.com)

Note: What follows is my personal account of the events of that day. I did not take written notes at the Fet (a bit difficult when one is dancing). So, any inaccuracies described about the ceremony are likely errors of my memory and not of the actual ceremony.

The Fet Gede celebration that I attended last weekend was held on Sunday, Nov. 1 (All Saint’s Day) rather than Nov. 2 (All Soul’s Day). I am not sure if it was held on Nov. 1 due to people’s work schedules or another reason, but it did not seem to make a difference. The spirits were in attendance.

The day started out with an unexpected surprise. I was chatting online with a good friend of mine (whom I’ll call “L”) when she said she had a surprise ready for me and wanted to bring it over that day. She was pretty adamant that she bring it that day, which piqued my interest. So, about an hour or so later, she presented me with this lovely spirit box:

Note that the veve for Papa Legba is handpainted by L on the top in red, one of his colors. There were three pennies for him inside. Veves are complex and I was touched both by the thoughtfulness of the gift and the time put into it. L is a talented individual in her own right, and works regularly as a henna artist. I presented the box to Legba the following day, and it is now displayed prominently in his shrine area.

Of the four friends I invited to accompany me to the Fet Gede, only two (Greg and Robert, not their real names) were able to make it. Both are new friends that I haven’t known long, but both  have very good energies about them. I met them through our mutual friend Gayle, the owner of the wonderful Gargoyles Statuary. Greg called me earlier in the day, suggesting we meet aournd 6pm somewhere before the ceremony. This turned out to be an excellent idea, as we were able to meet at a sushi bar (the same place where I met Mambo C) for drinks and a light meal. The cocktail I ordered relaxed me a little, which was good because I had been antsy with excitement all morning. After our meal, Greg and I walked over to the dance studio where the ceremony would take place, and met Robert there.

The three of us are very different in appearance; we could be the three leads for a television series that cast its characters with political correctness in mind, LOL. Greg is white with short reddish brown hair and dresses tastefully Goth. He has been a solitary practitioner of Vodou and Hoodoo for a number of years (not sure exactly how long). Robert is black with dreadlocks and dressed casually for the occasion. He is Pagan and somewhat new to Vodou. I am Asian/Inuit with medium length wavy hair and dressed semi-casually, formerly Wiccan and have only been studying Vodou seriously for about a year.

I have to admit that I did my precursory “color head count” of the crowd. I’d love to be color-blind, but like many people who have lived in areas where there are not many others who look like them, the head count becomes an ingrained habit. Plus I have been curious about what a Vodou crowd in the Pacific Northwest would look like. So, for the record, here it is: Total of about 30-40 people. Of those people, 3 of African descent (Robert, one of the guest dancers, and a middle-aged woman), an Asian woman (whom I discovered later is a member of the same dance troupe that performed at the Fet, a group that I would like to see again, Danse Perdue) and myself. Some of the people I’ve mentioned this to are surprised that there were not more people of African descent present, but somehow I wasn’t surprised, it being the Pacific Northwest.

The festivities took a while to get underway, but this gave me time to catch up with Greg and Robert, check out the altar, and say hello to Mambo C. The ceremony opened with a greeting from Mambo C, and then recitations of both the Lord’s Prayer and the Hail Mary litany. (It may surprise some readers, but Haitian Vodou is heavily syncretized with Catholicism). Following the prayers were songs and dances for the numerous lwas, beginning with the Rada lwa. This includes, among others, Papa Legba and Damballah. Here I was grateful for all the reading I’ve done. Even though the songs were in Haitian Creole, my ears were able to pick out certain terms and names throughout the ceremony.

It took a while for Greg, Robert and I to get into the dancing, although the drumming (provided by the amazing Bill Matthews and Friends) was highly infectious and could not be resisted for long. Greg and I were both moving to the rhythms, although not quite dancing during the early numbers. Robert was appreciative of the music but not moving too much early on. At some point during that first hour of music, one of the dancers, a lithe,  lovely raven-haired vision in white lace, extended a graceful hand to me and drew me into the dance. From then on, for a total of around 3 hours, it was nearly non-stop dancing for me. Greg had started really dancing around this time too and never stopped.

After I’d been dancing for a while (maybe 20 minuntes? I lost my sense of time during the dance), I noticed Robert was gone. Initially I thought he’d gone to the restroom, but soon I saw that he was walking arm in arm with the houngan in a circular path around the dance floor. Afterwards the houngan returned Robert to where he’d originally been standing, and put his forehead against Robert’s. I could see the houngan’s lips moving, but could not hear what he was saying. (The houngan made this circular walk with several participants throughout the night, including the Asian woman, the African woman, and the dancer who reached out to me. When I later asked Robert what the houngan said to him, Robert said, “Nothing.” Robert thought that perhaps he had received a blessing. My guess is that the houngan was possessed at the time, possibly by Damballah, who does not speak. I had heard his name mentioned during one of the songs. Sometime later, the houngan did indeed display the signs of a Damballah possession. He fell to the floor and was immediately covered with a white sheet by several people while the Mambo brought the houngan back to himself.) After the blessing, Robert danced freely for the rest of the evening.

There were two other possessions during the evening (possibly more, but I was only sure of these two). During one of the dances, I saw the African woman seated in a chair near the altar, seemingly frozen in an odd pose with one of her arms arched above her head, the other out to the side, and her torso leaning over to her left. Shortly after that she was dancing in a dazed way, and had to be supported by one of the Mambo’s friends.

The other possession occurred while we were honoring the Petwo lwa, specifically during the song for Bossou, the bull lwa. I knew from speaking with the Mambo that this was her met tet (master of her head), so I kept an eye on her while dancing. And sure enough, he came calling. The Mambo’s face assumed a fierce expression as she snarled. Either she pulled off her headcovering or it fell to the floor, but she made no effort to retrieve it. She began charging into people and continued doing so until the houngan got hold of her and asked the lwa to depart.

The last part of the ceremony was to honor the Ghede lwas and the ancestors. This section was opened by one of the dancers who was married to Baron Samedi. She presented him with a bottle of liquor, which she opened, took into her mouth, and then sprayed over the alter three times. What followed then was another hour or so of crazy lascivious dancing (fully clothed). Near the end of the Ghede section, all of us took turns approaching the altar and leaving offerings for our ancestors. We were encouraged to make requests from them at that time. I left a purple candle for my beloved Puck, requesting his further assistance in my Vodou studies. I know he would assist me regardless of the offering or the request, but it is always nice to ask and show appreciation. And I do so appreciate him–he played and continues to play a large role in my Vodou exploration.

The following Friday, at work, I was grabbing a tea bag out of a box when a little figure tumbled into view. This is one of those tea boxes that sometimes includes little porcelain figures. This particular tea box was given to me by a coworker maybe a year ago and I never noticed that a figure was enclosed. I picked it up. It was a little brown cat. Upon closer examination of the tea box, I saw that there were a total of ten possible figures that could be enclosed. Of those ten, two were cats–the other being a figure of two kittens. So that is a 20 percent chance of getting a cat, and a 10 percent change of getting the solitary cat. I don’t know what the odds are of my co-worker not finding the figure herself or me not finding it earlier.  Make of it what you will, but I took that as a very good sign. Also, the mirror I ordered from Gargoyles came in on Tuesday, and I plan to present it to La Sirene this weekend, along with a pipe that I have for Legba. I will give the little cat to Puck. I also will be setting up a Ghede shrine soon, simply because I am fond of them.

In closing, I was experiencing weird pain at the Fet Gede, although not severe enough to stop my feet from dancing. I will explain this further in my next post.

What is it with the blue dress?

I meant to mention this a couple of weeks ago, and then got distracted writing about my meeting with Mambo C.

During a recent healing meditation, I had a vision/impression of walking among a group of African children. The most prominent in the group was a little girl with a very dark complexion wearing a sky blue dress with a white dotted pattern. She looked maybe 9 years old, and I was walking a little behind her.

While I do not remember seeing this particular little girl before, I do remember the color combination of that dress. Back in August I wrote about a spirit who sat beside me on the bus. (See the last paragraph of Looking Back Part 2 to read in its entirety.) Although that spirit was a brown-skinned adult woman with long dark hair (possibly Latina or Native American), the dress was similar: blue with a white floral print. I still do not really know the significance of either the spirit(s) or the dress.

A note to my regular readers: Yes, I did go to the Fet Gede on Sunday. It was quite an experience, and surprised me in some ways. I will be writing about it within the next several days.

Human connections

Wednesday morning I call Mambo C. Our plan was that I would call her before I left work and we’d decide where to meet. So with  anticipation and a touch of trepidation I enter the number into my cell phone and….

I get her voicemail. I hear her voice for the first time, and it has richness and warmth.  There is something about her voice, a sense of depth, that suggests a tall woman. I think back to a couple of pictures I’d seen of the mambo online, and she did not appear to be a tall woman, but I could be mistaken. I leave a message that is a bit longer than I intend it to be, and hope I don’t come off as awkward.

Some time passes and my cell phone buzzes at my desk. I pick it up and carry it into the conference room before flipping it open. It’s the mambo with her warm voice again. We agree to meet for drinks and sushi in Fremont.

It’s pouring down rain as I leave work. After walking several long blocks to my first bus stop (south of Seattle near Tukwila), riding into downtown Seattle and running some errands, hopping another bus to Fremont, and killing some time walking to the neighborhood pet store, the bottoms of my pants are wet and it’s now time to head over to the sushi bar. I go inside and head upstairs, selecting a table overlooking the stairs where I can see the front door.

Five or ten minutes later, the mambo drifts in. We make eye contact, and verify each other’s identities. She is a dark haired woman dressed mostly in black. Her style is professional with a tasteful artistic air. As we begin to talk, it is apparent to me that she is earthy, funny, modest and decidedly unpretentious. The chemistry clicks, and we are immediately comfortable with each other. There are no awkward silences. She asks me how I came to Vodou, and I recount my early encounter with Papa Legba. We both realize that she has heard this story before on the Yahoo board that we are both members of, and we laugh. I ask her some questions that I was not able to find the answers to in my books.

Time passes quickly, and we are walking downstairs and then out the door into the soggy street. Before we part, she gives me a hug. She is not a particularly tall woman, but her spirit is large.

Afterward, as I am riding the bus home, I realize that the strange sensation I am feeling might be joy. Years of depression make it difficult for me to feel joy, so this realization is surprising and wondrous. I am so looking forward to the Fet Gede.

Flash forward a couple of days to Friday and I am at an art opening at my friend Gayle’s store, Gargoyles Statuary. One of the artists is a practitioner of Vodou/Hoodoo. We share thoughts and experiences about art and the lwa, and I tell him about the upcoming Fet Gede. He  is another earthy and unpretentious person. I am uncharacteristically talkative and social.

Interesting, these new connections…..

Anticipation and a possible answer

This morning Mambo C and I finally set a date to meet on Wednesday afternoon. I am very excited and a little nervous. Excited because I have so many questions. Nervous because this is very important to me. Not too nervous, though. I have a very positive impression of the Mambo from her emails.

Also, I may be a little closer to verifying the identity of the old woman spirit who my friend Angel sensed near me. On Sunday I tried one of the simpler readings with the Buckland tarot deck: the 12-card astrological circle spread. My question was about the identity of the old woman.

I’m not going to describe the entire reading here, as that would be tedious for me to write and for others to read. But here are what I consider the significant highlights:

Th first card represents the querent (in this case, me). It was the 4 of Chivs, which indicates a “colorless” person with deep desires that, along with his feelings, he keeps well hidden.

The third card represents education, communication, and short journeys. It was the Knight of Koros (Cups), which can indicate a message, invitation or proposition. I was recently invited to a Fet Gede, which could mean significant progress in my Vodou studies.

The ninth card represents religion, philosophy, spirituality, long journeys. It was the Hierophant, reversed, which can indicate unconventionality, unorthodoxy, and openness to new ideas. I have never really been a conventional anything, so it will be interesting to see how this Vodou journey turns out. Some practitioners I’ve encountered tend to be rather rigid in their beliefs, and I am very non-rigid. In the Buckland deck, the hierophant is portrayed as a blacksmith shoeing a horse. This is interesting because, in Vodou, a possessed person is referred to as a horse. When a lwa possesses a person, they are “riding the horse.”

The twelfth card represents secrets, secret friends, secret enemies, and is also the last card in the spread, which I take to represent the answer to the question. It was number 11 of the Major Arcana, Justice. In the Buckland deck, justice is represented by the Romani kris, the Gypsy Court of Justice. I didn’t really see how this related to the identity of the old lady, but I’m learning to step back and wait when things do not immediately make sense.

This morning I was reading a Vodou discussion board, where one of the members referred to Baron Samedi as a judge. In Kenaz Filan’s The Haitian Vodou Handbook, the Baron’s wife Maman Brigitte is described as “the consummate judge, and those who have been wronged will often go to her cairn of stones seeking justice.” In the Buckland tarot, the High Priestess (which so closely resembles the spirit that Angel saw) is described as “the arbitrator of disputes,” in other words, a judge. The name Brigitte is similar to the impression that Angel had of the old woman’s name (see post “Lwa connections“):

Angel:  It’s almost like Rita.. but not.. just has that sound in it . . .  I think there is a sound before that. Something ITA . . . the name definitly had that ITA sound. Or RITA. Not sure and something in front of it.

I’m not feeling one hundred percent certain that it was her, but it’s possible. This may turn out to follow the general pattern of my connecting with the lwas: They make contact, either I or someone close to me correctly guesses their identity, I second-guess the information, and then it turns out to be correct. Time will tell, but I do have a sort of pre-existing fondness for the Baron and his wife. At this point in time, I’m not sure how many model skulls and skeletons I own.

On the brink

I see myself perched on the edge of a cliff, enjoying the calm coolness of the ocean air before plunging headlong into the waters below. My relatively solitary life is beginning to change.

If you’ve been following this blog, then you know that I have been waiting to hear back from Mambo C, who lives in Seattle. Well, I heard back from her this week. We don’t yet have a date pinned down to get together, but it is going to happen soon. She told me that she will be holding a Fet Gede, the Festival of the Ancestors (or the Sacred Dead), in November. I am excited, happy and nervous about going. I suffer from minor social anxiety but, in this case, my excitement is overpowering the anxiety.

Also in November there is a workshop scheduled in Seattle with Mambo Racine Sans Bout, who is well known in U.S. Vodou circles. I would love to attend the workshop, but haven’t decided yet if I will. It’s $750, which isn’t bad for a 3-day intensive, but I am also considering taking a 2-week online art workshop that costs around $300. The art workshop is taught by a Hollywood visual effects studio, and they have one class focusing on sculpting comic book maquettes and statues, which would be my dream job. Ah, choices. You see my dilemma. If I try to do both, I will not only be exhausted but also spending over $1000. And I am hardly rich.

Update: I still have not figured out the identity of the old woman spirit seen by my friend Angel. When I try too hard to force an answer to a question, I worry that my own hopes or expectations will bias any answer I might receive. And then I start second-guessing myself again. So for now, I’ve stopped trying to figure it out and hope the answer will reveal itself at some point.